An Empty Chair at Thanksgiving: Missing John during his Favorite Holiday!

In exactly four weeks, families across America will gather around their tables to celebrate Thanksgiving. The turkey will be cooking, the pies will be baking, and homes will be filled with laughter, love, and the familiar sounds of family coming together. For many, Thanksgiving is simply another holiday.

But for John, Thanksgiving has always been his favorite.

And for me, that makes this time of year especially difficult.

When Someone You Love Is Missing from the Table

There's something about the holidays that makes absence feel a little heavier.

You can go through your everyday routine, keep yourself busy, and find ways to push through the difficult moments. But when the holidays approach, you're reminded of everything that's missing. The conversations. The laughter. The traditions. The simple joy of being together. And sometimes, it's the smallest things that hurt the most.

Knowing that someone you love should be sitting beside you, enjoying their favorite holiday, but instead is spending another Thanksgiving behind prison walls. There is an emptiness that no amount of food, decorations, or holiday cheer can fill. For families with incarcerated loved ones, the holidays are bittersweet. We're grateful for the blessings we have, but we're also painfully aware of the people we wish were home to share them.

Thanksgiving Looks Different When Your Loved One Is Incarcerated

People often talk about how difficult incarceration is for the person serving the sentence.

And it is. But what many don't realize is how deeply incarceration affects the families left behind. We continue celebrating birthdays, attending weddings, gathering for holidays, and making memories. But there's always someone missing. We take pictures knowing someone should be standing beside us. We sit around tables knowing another chair should be occupied. We laugh, but sometimes that laughter is followed by guilt because someone we love isn't there to experience the moment with us. And we learn to carry both gratitude and grief in the same heart. I can be thankful for my family, my friends, my health, and the people who have supported me throughout this journey. And still wish more than anything that John could come home. Being grateful for what you have doesn't mean you stop grieving what you're missing.

What I Wish People Understood

The holidays aren't easy for everyone. Some people are grieving the loss of a loved one. Others are struggling financially, battling loneliness, or facing circumstances they never imagined. And some of us are loving someone through prison walls. When people think about Thanksgiving, they picture families sitting together, passing dishes around the table, sharing stories, and making memories. But there are countless families who will spend this Thanksgiving waiting for a phone call instead of a knock at the door. Families who will hear their loved one's voice through a telephone rather than across the dinner table.

Families who will say, "I love you," knowing they cannot end the evening with a hug. That is a reality many people never think about until they experience it themselves.

What I'm Thankful for This Year

Despite everything, I have so much to be thankful for. I'm thankful for the strength God continues to give me on the days when I feel like I have nothing left. I'm thankful for the people who have stood beside me, encouraged me, prayed for John, and supported our journey. I'm thankful for the connections I've made with other families and advocates who understand what it means to fight for someone you love. I'm thankful for every conversation I get to have with John, even when it's through a telephone. And I'm thankful that, despite the setbacks, the disappointments, and the uncertainty, I haven't lost my determination.

Most importantly, I'm thankful that John is still here, that I can still hear his voice, and that we can continue holding on to hope. Because I've learned that gratitude doesn't always come from having the life you imagined. Sometimes it comes from finding something worth appreciating in the middle of a life you never expected.

My Thanksgiving Wish

If I could have one thing this Thanksgiving, it wouldn't be a fancy dinner, a beautifully decorated table, or the perfect holiday celebration.

It would be something much simpler.

I would want John home. I would want him sitting at the table, surrounded by the people he loves, enjoying the holiday that has always meant so much to him. I would want to experience the ordinary moments that so many people take for granted. Because when you've spent years missing someone, you realize that the greatest blessings aren't things. They're people. They're moments. They're memories. They're the ability to reach across the table and hold the hand of someone you love.

A Reminder This Holiday Season

As Thanksgiving approaches, I encourage everyone to remember that not every family will be celebrating with a full table. Be kind to the person who seems a little quieter this year. Reach out to someone who may be spending the holiday alone. Don't take the people sitting around your table for granted. And if you're fortunate enough to have your loved ones home, hug them a little tighter. Because somewhere, someone is praying for the very moments you get to experience every day. This Thanksgiving, I'll be carrying gratitude in one hand and hope in the other. Gratitude for the blessings that remain.

Hope for the day John can celebrate his favorite holiday surrounded by family again.

Until then, there will always be a place for him at my table and in my heart.

Happy early Thanksgiving, everyone. 🦃🤎

Thessalonians 5:18:"In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."