Docuseries

I wasn't planning on writing so soon after the episodes aired but while I sit here with a moment of clarity, I figured I should.

I am not here to change minds; everyone is entitled to their opinion, whether right, wrong, or indifferent. What I would like to do is offer some insight. After reading this, I want you to sit back and really think about your reactions after having all the information. If you still feel the same way, kudos. As a single mother to two amazing girls, if I were ever put in a situation of "I don't know" regarding them, you better believe this c.r.a.z.y ginger would destroy the world for them. Unfortunately, John was no different.

When John was approached about doing a documentary for A&E, he originally declined. After speaking with the attorney and some convincing on my part, John said, "Okay, whatever." When they started filming, I requested not to be on it. My daughter was in her senior year of high school, and if this aired, I didn't want her to get harassed at school. While I'm not on much, I am there every second supporting.

John's trial was set for May of 2023. When John's defense attorney submitted the expert witness's report, the prosecution asked for a continuance because they wanted to get their own expert witness. The judge (shocker) granted their continuance with stipulations. They had 45 days to find an expert and submit their findings.

On Day 45, no expert was put on the record. We had another preliminary hearing, and the trial was set for September. The dates in September conflicted with the judge, so both parties agreed to extend it until February of 2024.

John was offered one plea deal at the very beginning of this nightmare. That attorney, after seeing the video one time (no other evidence), told John, "I can probably get a deal of 7-10." I, however, begged John not to take it and encouraged him to go with a different attorney. A decision and regret I will live with for the rest of my life.

I didn't care how damaging the video was; I know this wasn't murder, and I know there's more to this story. I spent three years with the man, and while some may argue "that's not long enough to know someone," I disagree. People get married after 6 months of knowing each other. We were taking it slow, trying to learn each other's "quirks." We had fun. We were two low-maintenance adults, and we "fit." We were both dedicated to our families and professions but enjoyed being with each other.

We went to Cleveland to meet with the new attorneys and explained to them the situation. Their response was, "Without seeing the evidence, we don't know if we can help." They were arrogant, something I potentially was looking for. Someone who wasn't going to back down, someone who truly believed in John. John hired them that day.

I knew there was so much more, and if John stood a chance, he needed a bigger firm to work on the case. With them being in control, I decided to sit back and enjoy my time with John. If you know me, you know I'm avid about anything criminal. No lie, I missed my calling as an investigator. While I went to every court hearing, I never asked questions about the case.

The month of trial on top of filming, John and I spent the majority of the time talking to the attorneys or meeting them in Cleveland. John was given his discovery pack and encouraged to go through it. I'm assuming he did, but I believe John's mindset back then was remorse, "an eye for an eye." John's a huge teddy bear, super sensitive, and wears his heart on his sleeve.

I wasn't able to attend the first week of the trial as the defense was calling me as a witness to the phone call John received from "D". I'm nervous by nature, so my stomach was in knots that morning. I gave my testimony and sat behind him every day until the verdict came out. That day is still a blur.

I went to bed every night praying and begging God to guide me. Hence, this blog. I rely on my faith for everything, but it's extra on those dark days. I spent two months trying to get his affairs in order, being stalked, recorded, and threatened. I had absolutely zero time to grieve.

Things slowed down in May, so I decided to look at John's case to see what I was missing. I started with some reports, but my mind wasn't in it. Something kept telling me, "Focus on the video." Every night after work for two weeks, that's what I did. I'd crack open the laptop and watch it. I'd watch it a few times, get angry, and shut it down. Not angry at John, angry that not one adult felt the need to stop it.

Then one Sunday, after praying about it at church, I decided to lock myself in a room and go back to the video. I spent four hours that night just watching. I would pause it, zoom in on one section, then pause and zoom in on another. I was two hours in when I noticed both males had their left hand open, but their right fist was always closed.

I started from the beginning where "D" turns around on the porch before coming down. That's when I saw it. He was given a handheld metal tube that fit in the palm of his hand. In John's statement to the police, when asked "why did you give a warning shot," he said, "I thought he had a weapon." John was hoping the warning shot would slow him down from coming after him, especially if he had a weapon. A statement no one investigated further.

I focused on the second male when he entered the affray. Same thing. His left hand is always open, but his right is clenched shut. This time my focus is on him. Every movement he makes I am watching 100x. After rewatching it a million times, I finally see the metal plate protruding through his knuckles. I remember sitting at my computer sobbing. How did we miss this? How was this never brought up?

Go back and watch the video. John took 17 blows to the head before being dragged by the neck of his collar on top of his gun. Notice how "D" is dragging John by his shirt and says "run" to his son. At this point, John had NO idea where his gun was, but "D" saw it. Why would "D" tell his son to run? "D" then drops John on top of the gun. John doesn't see it, so "D" does a stutter step to see if John has possession or if "D" should continue the attack. When John finally feels and grabs the gun, "D" decides to run. It was less than 0.6 seconds from the time "D" let go of his collar to the time John shot. ZERO.SIX SECONDS.

My theory: If John hadn't grabbed that gun first, "D" was going to shoot and kill him. "D" was the initial aggressor, it's evident. John was invited to that house by someone who resides there. In the state of Ohio, he had all legal rights to be there. The warning shot was given as John KNEW "D" had grabbed a weapon.

You drive the same route every Sunday picking up your child, and you take the same route back when dropping her off. Why, why would she be at the opposite corner at a busier intersection with her two-year-old son, car seat, and diaper bag in 98° weather? That corner wasn't closer; it was actually a farther walk from the house. Setting up an alibi? Possibly.

Maybe my thoughts are like this because I know so much more. Maybe it's because I despise liars, cheats, and thieves. To me, it's the perfect crime. The perfect setup. You get rid of both men and can move on to your next victim. God help his soul.

This is just a small portion of John's story. There is still so much missing. I know it's always God's timing, but I have faith that the truth will be revealed. For those of you just joining after watching the episodes, I encourage you to go back to the first post and read them all.

Despite our differences, I am kindly asking for prayers for John. If you have a prayer circle at church he can be added to, we would appreciate it. We do not want any hatred towards anyone involved. Both families are mourning and unaware of certain "facts." Be respectful. It's okay to disagree.

God commands his people to be strong and courageous, not to fear (Deuteronomy 31:6)