It's another sleepless night for Ginger

My mind is everywhere tonight. I have a million different thoughts and emotions. Figured I'd start typing and see what happens. I apologize if this is everywhere.

I saw John over the weekend. I cannot explain or describe the love I have for that man and the pain I feel leaving visits. I know I should be grateful for even having the opportunity to see him, but I swear this whole situation is unfair.

By now most of you have seen the episodes on A&E, so you've seen the dashcam that was used against him at trial. The footage the defense purposely kept in, despite John's pleas for a suppression motion.

I guarantee my thoughts were similar to yours when I first saw the video. I remember sitting in the Attorney's office thinking "what the f". I watched it for the second time a few months later and my reaction was totally different. My memory from the first time seeing it was totally off from when I watched it the second time.

I watched it a 3rd time right before trial started and it wasn't as bad as it was the very first time. Here we are after 17 months later, and a million views and I start to feel less sympathetic and more enraged. Every single time I watch it, I notice something different that was missed.

If you have access to it, I encourage you to play it on repeat. However, if you're getting the footage off the WKBN YouTube channel, please know that version is so edited to their standards that it doesn't do John justice.

If anyone is into this stuff, criminal work and incarcerated individuals, I strongly encourage you to watch the video more than once.