MUST find him guilty....

I finally got to meet someone special Friday night. I had messaged her a few weeks ago letting her know I got approval and asked if she was still interested in meeting. To my surprise, she was.

We met at my favorite hot spot (Dunkin-LOL) and sat for 3.5 hours talking about the case. I thought I'd be more nervous than what I was, and I only had a few tears roll while talking. We exchanged stories, opinions, thoughts, and questions. I was trying not to be so awkward and found myself talking a mile a minute. I had so much I wanted to say, questions I wanted answers to, and explanations I felt the need to give.

She was sweet, understanding, and sympathetic. I think I was hoping for more closure but left more hurt than before. More confused and baffled that we, as human beings, have a total disregard for others.

I've asked both Attorney's if I could have a copy of the juror affidavits and was always told "i'll have to find them" and never followed up. I eventually let it go and made up my own assumption of what they must say...

"I did not understand the jury instruction regarding the self-defense clause if I would have, I would have voted NG". Signed, notarized, and sealed.

Simple enough. It wasn't until last night that I found out it was nearly 2 pages of every that went wrong during trial. Deliberation was like a 3-ring circus with the ringleader being an egotistical, self-absorbed man who was trying to insert his dominance. Older adults not caring about the verdict because "they wanted to be done". Women making their decision out of spite because they feel they were selected over "similarities".

They had a lot of questions they slid to the clerk of courts. Every single question was given to the Judge, and the Judge would go back and say, "make your best assumption" or "it's in the instructions". If they didn't know what a word meant they were left to guess. If they didn't understand the law, they did the best they could with "guessing". Baffled, utterly baffled.

It was also said that most of the jurors, while upset with their decision 15 months ago, "they're at peace" with their decision today. Wait, what? You're okay with being lied to and cheated? We depended on 12 jurors to decide John's fate, hoping and praying one of them would see the bigger picture.

I didn't read the 30 pages worth of jury instructions. I mean, John paid a multimillion-dollar law firm to do that, so we didn't have to. One of the many regrets I have. Each charge came with jury instructions and everyone agreed "this isn't murder". Yet, under the murder charge it said, "if you don't find him guilty of murder you MUST find him guilty of ...."

Just mind blowing that our government continues to R us sideways and we continue to sit back and take it. Makes zero sense to me.

Alcoholic Judge, check. Cheating detective, check check. Prosecutors who covered evidence up, check check check. Make it make sense!!!