Never Judge a Book

We all know how easy it is to put our health on the back burner, and it usually takes a medical emergency for us to take anything serious. At this stage in my life I wish I would have taken every medical advice, suggestion, and concern serious enough to make changes. Yet here I am, at 43 hoping and praying it's not too late.

I was diagnosed with borderline hypothyroidism in 2022 and put on a low dose of levothyroxine. I took that pill religiously until December of 2024 when I lost my medical insurance and I missed the open-enrollment period for work. No worries, I'll just wait the 7 months until it opens again. It's only 7 months without the medication, and since I'm borderline no biggie, right?

Those 7 months flew by with little changes to my health, except the 26lb weight gain. Again, not a huge issue, I've tackled weight loss before, I can do it again. We have a 7 day window for the open enrollment period through work. Plenty of time to go through the different options, ask questions, and compare. I know nothing about medical insurance so reading the different plans was foreign to me. I ended up discussing with someone who knows a little more than me. The family plans were expensive and confusing, but I finally made my choice and needed to lock in at work.

Guess what? Time slipped away and I missed the enrollment period. Absolutely nothing I could do about it. So, here we are, another year without medical insurance. A 12-month nightmare waiting as both girls have high medical needs. PCP appointments weren't the problem; it was all the specialist and prescriptions that killed me. Yet, why should they suffer?

In May I started to feel pretty sluggish. I know thyroid causes fatigue, so I assumed that's what it was. I just needed to wait two more months to make enrollment, and I'd go see my PCP. Those two months were detrimental. I am now light-headed, and seeing black blurs. Again, I'm a month away from getting insurance, I can wait a little longer before getting checked. July rolls around and I opted for the family plan that covers high needs. Freaking expensive!!

We're all covered and the girls need to make their appointments. July slips away per usual and I sill haven't scheduled with my doctor. I keep pushing the symptoms off and telling myself, "It can wait." It's now August and my symptoms increase slightly. I can't even get out of bed I'm so exhausted. I'm seeing those black blurs more frequently, I'm in bed every night by 6pm, I'm getting heart palpitations, and my chest has been tight. Once again, I make excuses "I smoke and I gained 46lbs." The exhaustion is due to picking up shifts at work and not sleeping at night. Heart palpitations are from my coffee addiction, right? Again, I put ME on hold.

Last week the black blurs were more frequent, the exhaustion and lack of oxygen was enough to put me in a panic. What do you think I did? I google searched my symptoms and the lack of thyroid medication. Turns out most of my symptoms fit with myxedema madness. The worst part was seeing the black blurs and having blurred vision. I call my doctor Wednesday morning but forgot the office is closed on Wednesday. I go to work and consult with an NP I work with. I explained the symptoms and concerns, and she suggested an urgent care visit. I wasn't hesitant but the heart palpitations were becoming more frequent.

I leave work early and head to Austintown. I explained the situation, no meds in two years, vision is blurry and seeing black blurs, heart palpitations, and extreme exhaustion. During triage they do an EKG and check my vitals. Heart rate and blood pressure were "elevated" but I'm sent back to the lobby to wait for a room. I sit for 45 minutes before being called back.

I was placed in room 4, which happens to be one of my favorite numbers. Odd, I know. As soon as I'm brought in a technician came in to do a chest x-ray, the nurse was right behind her waiting to draw blood. Shortly after that the DR comes in, asks what's going on and reassures me "don't worry we're going to do all kinds of test to see what's going on to get you feeling better." Perfect, although I'm convinced it's my thyroid and all I need is some IV meds. Another doctor came in and checked my vitals. She asked what was going on, I explained it and she said "okay we're going to get to the bottom of it."

Another technician came back to get me for a CT scan. Took all of 10 minutes, and 30 after that the doctor comes back in and says, "we're going to admit you." I look at him and chuckled "yeah right." He responds, "no we are your CT came back showing pockets of cysts behind your eyes which are pushing your eyes out and making them bulge." He said "it's pretty consistent with thyroid so we want to make sure if you're going through a myxedema storm, you'll be monitored and given the meds you need." At that point I said "okay."

My nurse comes back in and says "I have to get more vials and then hopefully you can go home." I looked at him and said, "their admitting me." He looked at me slightly confused and said "why." My response "I'm not sure." He ended up pulling up my chart in the room and said, "oh yeah your CT shows cysts behind the eyes but that's pretty common with thyroid and goes with your complaints." He shrugged it off and finished getting the vials. He left and I never saw him again.

It's now 4pm and I get a my chart notification that my blood work results are back. I open it and was tested for every drug under the sun; fentanyl, cocaine, benzo's amphetamines, methamphetamines, alcohol, Xanax, valium literally everything. I'm obviously all negative but confused as I have never been tested like that. It was just odd. I look through mychart and see where I'm being admitted to Boardman and it lists the doctor I'm being admitted under. I do a quick google search on the doctor and almost fell out the bed.

I text a friend who works in the hospital and she eased the confusion I had. I've had 5 hours in the hospital room alone, enough time to gather my thoughts and piece things together. I keep thinking about a patient of mine who had trauma from going to the hospital and ending up somewhere different. It kept replaying in my head and my nerves took over.

It's now 6pm and shift changed started at 3pm and my nurse finally came in to check vitals. I looked at her and said "yeahh I think I want to go home." She looked at me and said "you know you're being admitted." My response, "yeah but for what?" Her response took me out, no lie.

She says, "you're hallucinating and hearing voices." I looked at her and said, "I'm sorry, what." She said, "the doctor before reported you were hallucinating and hearing voices or seeing people." No lie, ladies and gentlemen I am trying my very best not to lose my ever-loving mind. I tried explaining to her my symptoms and she said, "okay well I'm going to have to do an assessment on you." I laughed and said, "okay, probably the same assessment I do on my patients." She asked her questions and still tried to convince me I needed admitted. I explained to her that I was here for a medical issue after not having my thyroid meds for two years. I'm not hallucinating and I'm not delusional.

She ended up getting the DR, a different one than the two I had before. He comes in and says "I heard you want to leave because you saw your mychart." I said, "sure do." He tried telling me he knows the DR I'm being admitted under and she's "medical." I was as calm as a millpond. I tried explaining to him that I was NOT going to be admitted under..... PSYCHIATRY when my symptoms don't align. His response with his little TUDE "well you're hallucination and hearing voices." My response "now I'm getting pissed, I never said I was hearing voices or hallucinating." He let me know that the DR before him reported all those things and with his cocky attitude responds, "I'll just pull up the chart note." I said, "please do." He attempts to pull it up on the computer in the room, and guess what?? NO NOTE!!!

He looks at me and says "if you want to leave you have to sign out AMA and as long as you know the risks of signing out with a potential psychosis storm we don't want you to leave here and have you hurt someone else or yourself." I asked, "if that's the case why am I being admitted under psychiatry." He says, "I'm not putting you on a hold, boardman doesn't even have a psych unit." I said, "I know that but that doesn't mean once I get there that the DR will evaluate me and all of a sudden, I'm on a hold." He looked at me and basically confirmed what my PATIENTS have reported, and what my GUT was telling me!

I said, "yeah I'm good I'll sign out get my papers." He leaves, I hear him on the phone with I'm assuming the doctor who said I was hearing voices and hallucinating, the same one who drug tested me for 30 different narcotics. Because of the chaos in the ER I couldn't hear the whole conversation, just enough to hear it was my case he was discussing.

Shortly after that the nurse comes in to get the blood pressure cuff from the room and says, "I'll be back with your paperwork to sign and you can leave." I wait and listen for the footsteps, I hear them and reach for my favorite pen in my purse so I can sign those AMA papers like a damn queen!

She comes in, and says "you're being discharged I'm sure you saw your mychart for your thyroid results, they just came back and your TSH is slightly elevated." I never got the notification, and I find it beyond ironic that they just came back seconds upon my discharge. I'm slightly disappointed I didn't need my favorite pen to sign, but off I go. I get in my car and I am LIVID! Literally more traumatized coming out of the hospital than going in. Disappointed, enraged, devastated, all the emotions!

I sleep it off and go to work the next morning. I'm still beyond sluggish but drink my coffee to maintain. I get home that afternoon and get a notification from a different doctor who read my EKG. Turns out, I had a heart attack! I'm sorry, what? I send the results to a friend, and she too confirmed but encouraged I meet with my provider.

I already had the appointment scheduled for Friday morning. It's been two years since I've seen him! I'm like a little tornado when I walk into his office, it's always a multitude of issues. I go in Friday morning, explain what's been going on and what's happening, and he turns in his chair and says, "wait a minute, wait a minute, back up." I explained it again and he said, "they need psychiatry." I said "EXACTLY." He then looks at my EKG and confirms it shows a heart attack occurred but can't determine when.

He sent the referral to a cardiologist and ordered more labs. I'm a sitting duck, praying and hoping I survive another day. I also walked out of his office convincing myself I'm done smoking, eating like a whale, and staying idol. Although I'm afraid to do any exercise until I see the cardiologist I refuse to just lay in bed and rot.

Let me be a reminder how crucial it is to get your yearly check-ups, when something seems off schedule. Take your medication, drink plenty of water, walk when you can, and let go of the negative energy that consumes and destroys your inner peace. IT ISN"T WORTH IT! Life is too short and beautiful to neglect our bodies. Get checked!

Jeremiah 30:17: "I will restore you to health and heal your wounds, declares the Lord."