When Caring becomes Exhausting: The Reality of Burnout

Do you know it's been months since I've actually had the opportunity to sit down and write my thoughts out, often consumed with a million other things. To be in the mind of RED is to have a thousand racing thoughts, 45 different visions, and 22 projects started but unfinished. Who can relate?

Since John's incarceration in 2024 I have spent every waking moment trying to stay busy, creating new adventures, projects, and advocating on his behalf. I've thrown myself into my career hoping that working with others would fill the void that aches daily. We are 30 months into a life sentence, and I've had more mental breakdowns than I care to admit. Yet, life has taught us to keep going.

While doing some self-reflecting this morning I quickly realized I'm burned out and lack the compassion I once carried so naturally for others, not because I no longer care, but because I’ve spent so much time pouring from an empty cup.

Yet who fills our cup when we are empty, genuinely? I thought maybe if I kept myself busy, started new projects, followed my dreams that the cup would replenish itself. How sadly mistaken I was.

I created this page as a way to keep myself busy and cope with the emotions that had begun to consume my mind and soul. What started as an outlet for me slowly became something more, a place where I could share my experiences, use what I was learning, and hopefully, someday, help someone else who finds themselves navigating a difficult season of their own.

Yet I've been a fraud for the last 8 months, neglecting the one thing I thought would help me. I haven't posted an original thought since December. I haven't had the mental capacity to formulate words, but I wanted to make sure I updated regularly. Yet here I am on a Sunday morning reflecting and realizing that burn out is real!

I'm not entirely sure what I am burned out from. I don't know if it's personal or professional, what I know is it's affecting my daily living. I go to work, I come home and I crawl into bed. I'm not joking, the last three weeks I've been in bed by 5:30pm. I typically can't fall asleep that early, so I scroll, read, or research. Absolutely mindless and unproductive. Yet I don't have the physical strength to do much more.

I'm not exactly sure what this means for me, but I do know I have to make some life changing decisions before next year. Whatever that entails I pray it's productive, influential, and empowering.

Here's a few things I plan on switching up in the next few months. If you want to share what works for you, please feel free to comment!

• Pay attention to basic physical needs; go for walks

• Journal (blog)

• Reduce your commitments temporarily: it's okay to focus on you

• Take a long weekend off grid

• Choose activities that replenish (The Emerald Circle)

• Stop filling every moment with productivity. It's OKAY to be unproductive!

• Consider professional support

Matthew 11:28-30: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls"